It all began with a body slam!
The scandalous swamp toad, Ben Jacobs, thought he could use the same old tricks that were so effective in years gone past. The Goblin Press spread their poisonous ink freely about the lands on the liar’s leaf and led the good people astray. Little did Jacobs know that a new hero inhabited the wilds of Montana.
Greg Gianforte flexed his barbarian muscles and let out a roar,” Get the hell out of here!” Those words echoed all about the ravine causing rocks to dislodge from their resting place. Ben Jacobs did not heed Gianforte’s warning and paid the price.
Jacobs felt the swift and manly clutch of Gianforte’s fists and all through out the nation his whimper and cry of dismay could be heard!
The good people rose up and gave Gianforte their support and he went on as a victor of Montana!
This, of course, was only a taste of what was to come!
Further south, in the green valleys and vineyards of Georgia the Goblins were attempting to woo the people with much treasure and pretty smiles. They spilled great amounts of poisonous ink to leave the people in stupor but their lies did not take. Even Hollywood Goblins crawled and skittered through the peach orchards to feign admiration for their chosen.
However, the Goblins cried out in disbelief as the people have grown wise to the hideous ways of the Goblins and took Karen Handel as their champion instead!
”Ossoff! Our treacherous lies have done you no good and you proved to be weak. You claimed that you lived in these lands and knew the people well. We trusted you. Remember, your soul is now ours to keep!”
In the Goblin’s lair they sulked and moaned. The stupefying brainwaves caste from their towers and snaking cables which were thought to be their secret weapon were turned away from the eyes of their intended victims as Handel boasted of her victory before the whole world!
With the sweet sting of victory and the smell of sour blood in the air our God Emperor announced from his throne: